At a work function a few months back, I ran into a popular manager that I have worked with on a few brief occasions. We have always gotten along and so when he and another colleague invited me and two others (one male and one female) along for drinks afterwards I didn’t think anything of it. This is normal practice at the office where I work and everyone is pretty friendly with everyone else.

Unfortunately, once we reached the bar, the manager in question started to get hands-y and decided it would be appropriate to make some very graphic suggestions to me. I immediately let him know that this was not appropriate and that I wanted nothing to do with him or his suggestions and suggested he go home to his wife. He got pissed off and left.

The next day I was pretty upset so I called a friend of mine (one of the others present who was privy to his behavior) and asked her what she thought. We both agreed that his advances were totally inappropriate but both of us were at a loss as to the best course of action:

• I could file a complaint, however the implications of doing so are pretty severe. Despite the strict policies most companies have in place regarding harassment, the victim often ends up being further victimized by the process of lodging the complaint and the subsequent fallout.

• I could say nothing, however there’s a chance that I will have to work with this guy again, or that he could do the same thing to someone else.

In these situations, sadly, there is no right answer. The choice I made was a difficult one but in the end I opted to say nothing out of fear of the personal and professional repercussions it could have for me.

Ultimately, if you find yourself in this situation you need to decide the best course of action for yourself and chances are no matter what choice you make you will always second guess the decision.