Resignation - leap of faith or fatal plunge?
A fellow recruiter and I were talking a few days ago, when she told me that she had just left a meeting with her boss and had expressed her disenchantment with working at our company.
This particular person happens to be one of the bigger gossipers more open, expressive people in the office, so I had already known for months that she was unhappy. She had applied to 2 internal postings in other divisions over the past 4 months or so without avail. Everyone in the office (and to a certain degree, the company) was aware of her disdain.
I have no objection to someone having a meeting with their manager to advise them that they are on their way out. If you can successfully maintain that level of openness/honesty with your manager, all the more power to you. What I do object to, however, is the reasons for leaving that she gave her manager:
“I am not happy here. I do not see a future for myself with this company with my current role and potential career paths. I also do not like your management style and how you direct our team. Yes we have a lot on our plates right now but there is a reason for this.”
My view on this is that if you are to speak with your manager to express your malcontent, sugarcoat it a bit. If you do not like your manager, lie. If the company vision/morals are not aligned with yours, lie. The business world can be incredibly small. You’re not the only one who can transition to a new company - your “former” manager can as well. And that manager could very well be asked for an informal reference, should your career paths cross again.
Managers can take resignations pretty badly- almost personally sometimes. Maybe it’s the HR in me, but I am a strong advocate of not burning bridges. Remember that you will most likely need a reference from this manager in obtaining your next job, or another down the road. So take the infamous relationship approach: It’s not you, it’s me:
“Thank you for giving me this great oppportunity. I have learned a lot under your guidance, but I have unfortunately decided to pursue other avenues more in line with my personal ambitions. I have really enjoyed my time here with (Company X) but this decision is what is best for me and my career”.
(3 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
You are spot-on with this post, Aaron. I learned that lesson myself recently when our (tiny) company was treated abominably by one of our contractors, and yet my boss didn’t ream him out when they were on the phone. Keep in mind, this involved a loss of five-figures’ worth of income. I asked him why and he said, “we may still be able to use him one day to refer business to us.” That was when I realized that no matter how upset you are, it’s almost never a good idea to speak your mind.
Although I totally agree with this, we must remember that this ability is an art; more of a gift of nature, rather than developed by nurturing. Someone near & dear to me simply can’t stomach the ‘fakeness’ that is oftentimes required of her at her workplace, and finds it difficult to have to ‘play’ the ‘office culture game’.
Great post Aaron! Diplomacy is an enormously important skill to have in the workplace. If you do feel the need to vent to a colleague you need to make sure you know exactly who you can and cannot trust. Sounds like your colleague didn’t care who knew she was upset, or how it could reflect back on her.
@ Clara: Agreed. Unfortunately, honesty is not always the best policy.
@ Fernando: I agree that this ability is an art. There is, however, a certain degree of office tact (or diplomacy, as Jane said) that comes into it as well. Your near & dear person may not like it, but she does it nevertheless as she possesses this tact. The people who can swim the murky waters tactfully are those that will go the furthest.
@ Jane: Thanks. You definitely need to ensure you vent appropriately. For the record, I’m one of those in the office who can be trusted
[...] employer 5 years or more I may have suggested differently. This is not the case, however, and by giving a proper, respectful resignation my friend will come out on [...]